AIDS is serious business. There’s no question about that. It is an epidemic that has been rapidly growing in every country of the world. Some nations, especially developing ones, have taken harder hits than others. Melinda French Gates, wife of Bill Gates, in April 2004 posted an article in The Seattle Times named “AIDS and India.” In her article, Gates ineffectively attempts to persuade financially stable countries, agencies and individuals to donate to the fight against AIDS by using the wrong tone, poor word choice and lack of imagery.
Gates’ argument and cause are terrific. AIDS is a very sensitive topic and has a lot of emotion attached to it. One would assume that an effective way to move people to act on such a cause would be to appeal to their emotions. This is why I found that her rhetoric didn’t quite cut it. She chose to use a very neutral, somewhat dry tone. She lacks passion and gusto. She opens up the article describing how fast India is developing and how it is “on the brink of an AIDS catastrophe that could undermine the country’s potential for progress.” After this sentence, you start to get somewhat pumped until you read a little while later a sentence like this: “But I am hopeful that the nation can avoid disaster.” Well you know what? So am I. Tell me something I don’t know. The word “hopeful” seems to me not only neutral, but very weak. All of us are hopeful, but we want to be more than that.
6 comments:
I truly think AIDS is overrated. The numbers really don't account to a lot. People just need to go to underdeveloped countries and teach about contraceptives and ways to prevent STI's. I they did this AIDS would not be problem.
I think AIDS is a big deal. Haha it's a large factor in underdeveloped countries for deaths and as long as large numbers of individuals are dying it needs to be taken serious.
I think you did a good job of looking at this critically. It is easy to get swept away by her argument, but by taking a step back and analyzing it you see that her argument may not be as effective as you initially thought.
AIDS is talked about and addressed all the time. It may seem overrated but it is kind of a big deal. I mean so many people die from it and there are ways to help that.
I enjoyed reading your first couple of paragraphs. I also chose this article to do my rhetorical analysis. I think you make some great points and I predict your essay will be interesting to read. I like that you truly did put lots of analysis into your writing. Instead of accepting the article and pinpointing what the author did right, you critically thought about it and found out where it needed improvement. That is a good skill to have. Good luck with putting together the second and final draft. You have a great start so far.
Thanks for all the comments. Just for the record, I also think that AIDS is a big deal. My paper was not meant to make people not care as much about AIDS or to water down the seriousness of the epidemic, but rather to point out how the author could have been more effective at convincing her audience.
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