Style

Professional Student
Total number of words ____489_______ ___1212_____
Total number of sentences _____21______ ___50_____
Longest sentence (in # of words) _____50______ ___50_____
Shortest sentence (in # of words) ____4_______ ___5_____
Average sentence length ____23_______ ___23_____
Number of sentences w/ more than
10 words over the average length _____4______ ___6_____
Percentage of sentences w/ more
than 10 words over the average _____19%______ ____11%____
Number of sentences w/ more than
5 words below the average ____8_______ ___13_____
Percentage of sentences w/ more than
5 words below the average _____38%______ ____25%____
Paragraph Length
Longest Paragraph (in # of sentences) _____7______ ___14_____
Shortest Paragraph (in # of sentences) _____2______ ____8____
Average Paragraph (in # of sentences) _____4.2______ ___10.2_____

My writing was very different from the professionals writing. Everything in mine was longer except for the sentence lengths. My paper was way longer than the artivle they wrote. Percentage wise, however, my paper was very similar to theirs, so if my paper were shorter I think they would actually be very similar in their size. I think I need to shorten my paragraphs because, when compared to the proffessionals, they are too wordy and long.

Professional Differences from Student

Total number of words: 445 vs. 1021
Total number of sentences: 17 vs. 52
Longest Sentence (in # of words): 43 vs. 45
Shortest Sentence (in # of words) : 6 vs. 3
Average Sentence Length: 35 vs. 22
Number of Sentences with 10 words over the average length: 3 vs. 6
Percentage of Sentences with more than 10 words over the average: 18% vs. 12%
Number of sentences w/ more than
5 words below the average: 2 vs. 9
Percentage of sentences with 5 words below the average: 12% vs. 17%
Longest Paragraph (in # of sentences): 3 vs. 13
Shortest Paragraph ( in # of sentences): 2 vs. 6
Average Paragraph (in # of sentences): 3 vs. 9

The difference between the Professional’s writing and mine is big. The Professional seems to have fewer numbers of sentences, but they are all long. One of the things the Professional does that I need to work on, is the variety of his punctuation. He switches up his sentences by using many different types of punctuation. The Professional’s writing is much more informing than mine.

Style

Professional Student
Total number of words ___322___ __863__
Total number of sentences ___13___ ___54____
Longest sentence (in # of words) ____61_____ __37__
Shortest sentence (in # of words) ___3___ __6__
Average sentence length ___25___ ___16___
Number of sentences w/ more than
10 words over the average length _____11______ ___37_____
Percentage of sentences w/ more
than 10 words over the average _____85______ ____68____
Number of sentences w/ more than
5 words below the average ____12_____ ____54____
Percentage of sentences w/ more than
5 words below the average _____92______ ___100_____
Paragraph Length
Longest Paragraph (in # of sentences) _____3______ ___14___
Shortest Paragraph (in # of sentences) ______2_____ ____6____
Average Paragraph (in # of sentences) ____2.6____ ___10.8___

My writing and the professionals differs greatly. I am not as wordy as the professional, but I take many more sentences to explain a concept. I think I need to vary my sentences more and through some variety into my writing. Also, after comparing my writing to the professionals, I know I need make my ideas more concise and merge some of my sentences to make my paragraphs more effective.

Comparing Editorials

Professional: | Student:
An answer to world poverty | Gratitude

Total number of words ____456____ ___769__

Total number of sentences _____24____ ___36___

Longest sentence (in # of words) ____46_____ ___45___

Shortest sentence (in # of words) ____11_____ ___7____

Average sentence length ____21_____ ___25____

Number of sentences w/ more than

10 words over the average length ____5_____ ___6____

Percentage of sentences w/ more

than 10 words over the average ___21%____ ___17%__

Number of sentences w/ more than

5 words below the average ____5_______ ___3_____

Percentage of sentences w/ more than

5 words below the average ____21%____ ___8%___

Paragraph Length

Longest Paragraph (in # of sentences) ____5______ ___17___

Shortest Paragraph (in # of sentences) ____1______ ___5____

Average Paragraph (in # of sentences) ____3_____ ___9____

I found that after reading the professional opinion editorial that was placed in the Deseret Times, I saw many similarities and many differences. I saw how the writer of the article was able to used, just like I did in my opinion editorial, experiences and accounts from history. Interestingly enough, the author of the editorial used his thesis as bookends to the history of what it was he was arguing.

Expert vs. Novice

Professional             Student
Total number of words                 __465__                   __1,084__
Total number of sentences         __24__                      __48__
Longest sentence (in # of words) __41__                  __54__
Shortest sentence (in # of words) __2__                   __10__
Average sentence length              __19__                     __23__
Number of sentences w/ more than
10 words over the average length __4__                   __5__
Percentage of sentences w/ more
than 10 words over the average __16__                    __10__
Number of sentences w/ more than
5 words below the average          __4__                                      __13__
Percentage of sentences w/ more than
5 words below the average         __16__                                     __27__                                  
              Paragraph Length
Longest Paragraph (in # of sentences) __6__          __11__
Shortest Paragraph (in # of sentences) __2__      __5__
Average Paragraph (in # of sentences) __4__      __8__

From this exercise I learned that although the expert had less words the percentages were really close.  I think that for the most part we had the same kind of structure, except the professional was more concise with his concepts, however I don't think that that is possible for my paper.  I really need to sit down and see if I can be more concise at any point and work on that. 

A Little Change

Student vs. Professional

Total number of words 1,743 vs. 861

Total number of sentences 45 vs. 25

Longest sentence 60 vs. 46

Shortest sentence 16 vs. 4

Average sentence length 38 vs. 25

Number of sentences w/out more than 10 words over the average length 8 vs. 4

Percentage of sentences without more than 10 words over the average 17.7% vs. 16%

Number of sentences without more than 5 words below the average 17 vs. 5

Percentage of sentences without more than 5 words below the average 37.7% vs. 20%

Paragraph Length

Longest Paragraph 10 vs. 8

Shortest Paragraph 5 vs. 3

Average Paragraph 6 vs. 5

Overall, my opinion editorial was much different than the professionals. My tone was not as direct and I used a lot of unnecessary information and wording, the professional just stated his main points and was finished without adding any irrelevant detail. This is something that I am working on because I believe my papers would be much better if I would just state the facts. i enjoyed this exercise and it has helped me see that I need to work on my wording in order to make my papers more direct. 

I Am Young Grasshoppa

Professional Student

Total number of words _575__________ __904______

Total number of sentences ____25_______ ___51_____

Longest sentence (in # of words) ___65________ ___35_____

Shortest sentence (in # of words) ___5________ ___3_____

Average sentence length ____23_______ ___12_____

Number of sentences w/ more than

10 words over the average length ____4_______ ___10_____

Percentage of sentences w/ more

than 10 words over the average _____16%______ __20%______

Number of sentences w/ more than

5 words below the average ______4_____ ___3_____

Percentage of sentences w/ more than

5 words below the average ___16%________ __6%______

Paragraph Length

Longest Paragraph (in # of sentences) ____4_______ ___10_____

Shortest Paragraph (in # of sentences) __1_________ ____3____

Average Paragraph (in # of sentences) ___3________ ____6.5____


I have to say, I was laughing the whole time I was coming up with my stats, because I realized how much of an amateur writer I am. I have so many more words and sentences than the professional writer, many are unnecessary, and my article is less concise because of this. It put into perspective how many useless, unimportant things I put into my writing. I love the professional's writing, in that it gets straight to the point. There is no fluff, just good, clear writing. This was a wake up call for me, in that I must be a more concise writer. I must practice the ways of clear, good writing, just like the Karate Kid practiced the wax on wax off move. I, like him, am a young untrained "Grasshoppa"... but with practice, the "Grasshoppa" can become the "Masta".

More Noticeable Voice

I found that aside from the size, my editorial was structurally similar to the professional article. He used similar constructions - and with the dramatic size difference considered, the statistics are also similar. A major difference that I did notice is the more obvious voice found in the professional editorial. He used a stronger and more abrasive voice.

Professional and Student

Professional--Student
Total number of words__333-937
Total number of sentences__13-37
Longest sentence (in # of words)__40-42
Shortest sentence (in # of words)__4-8
Average sentence length__25-25
Number of sentences w/ more than 10 words over the average length__5-14
Percentage of sentences w/ more than 10 words over the average__38%-38%
Number of sentences w/ more than 5 words below the average__6-12
Percentage of sentences w/ more than 5 words below the average__46%-32%
Longest Paragraph (in # of sentences)__3-12
Shortest Paragraph (in # of sentences)__2-4
Average Paragraph (in # of sentences) __~3-6

The Professional's writing is much shorter than mine. His style is more to the point whereas mine has more explanation. The face that I have a page number requirement adds to this, while (I assume) he does not. Comparing the numbers, our styles appear relatively similar. He writes to clarify a policy of the Obama administration whereas I am trying to persuade people and gain their support.

Differences in Style

Professional vs. Student

Total number of words: 307 v. 914
Total number of sentences: 15 v. 41
Longest sentence (in # of words): 42 v. 61
Shortest sentence (in # of words): 3 v. 7
Average sentence length: 20 v. 22
Number of sentences w/ more than 10 words over the average length: 3 v. 6
Percentage of sentences w/ more than 10 words over the average: 20% v. 15%
Number of sentences w/ more than 5 words below the average: 3 v.15
Percentage of sentences w/ more than 5 words below the average: 20% v. 36%
Paragraph Length
Longest Paragraph (in # of sentences): 4 v. 9
Shortest Paragraph (in # of sentences): 2 v. 6
Average Paragraph (in # of sentences): 2.5 v. 6

The differences in writing style between my opinion editorial and the professional opinion editorial is pretty noticeable. In the professional’s writing, he was very concise and to the point. The writer was sure to only include significant information. I can tell that in my writing, I use a lot of “filler”. I think my problem is that I need to do a better job editing and taking out information that is not important and only leave the sentences and words that help my writing.

Me v. The Guy Who Gets Paid To Write Opinion Editorials

Professional-Student

Total number of words 893-1,251

Total number of sentences 38-55

Longest sentence (in # of words) 15-25

Shortest sentence (in # of words) 8-6

Average sentence length 12-17

Number of sentences w/ more than 10 words over the average length 6-13

Percentage of sentences w/ more than 10 words over the average 16%-19%

Number of sentences w/ more than 5 words below the average 8-10

Percentage of sentences w/ more than 5 words below the average 18%-16%

Paragraph Length Longest Paragraph (in # of sentences) 6-10

Shortest Paragraph (in # of sentences) 1-4

Average Paragraph (in # of sentences) 4-7

The Professional paper used more paragraphs with fewer sentences. This probably helps to keep each paragraph more focused. My paragraphs tend to have more than one main point which can lead to confusion. Both papers had fairly good sentence variation. My paper is longer because it presents more of a solution to the problem.

Professionalism vs. Amateurism

Professional Student

Total number of words ___542________ ____1,156____

Total number of sentences ____31_______ ___55_____

Longest sentence (in # of words) ____46_______ ___36_____

Shortest sentence (in # of words) _____3______ ____15____

Average sentence length ____23_______ ____20____

Number of sentences w/ more than

10 words over the average length ___25________ ___21_____

Percentage of sentences w/ more

than 10 words over the average ____80%_______ ___40%_____

Number of sentences w/ more than

5 words below the average ____10%_______ ___10_____

Percentage of sentences w/ more than

5 words below the average _____10%______ ___20%_____

Paragraph Length

Longest Paragraph (in # of sentences) _____5______ ____12____

Shortest Paragraph (in # of sentences) _____3______ ___5_____

Average Paragraph (in # of sentences) ______4_____ ____8____


I noticed that the professional liked to write very long sentences. He rarely used short sentences. When he, it was to get his point across. I also noticed that his tone was very informative and not very personable. Mine, on the other hand, was more personal and didn't seem like a robot was writing. But over all i think that his outline and progress was more fluid than mine was. I sometimes get off topic but it is my rough draft. Finally I think that I use a lot more words to get my point across.

OPED

Professional Student
Total number of words __472_________ ___1041_____
Total number of sentences ____24_______ ___42_____
Longest sentence (in # of words) ____33_______ ___45_____
Shortest sentence (in # of words) ____4_______ ___7_____
Average sentence length ____13_______ ___18_____
Number of sentences w/ more than
10 words over the average length _____1______ ___8_____
Percentage of sentences w/ more
than 10 words over the average _____.004______ ___.19_____
Number of sentences w/ more than
5 words below the average ____3_______ ___7_____
Percentage of sentences w/ more than
5 words below the average ____.12_______ ___.16_____
Paragraph Length
Longest Paragraph (in # of sentences) _____9______ ___13_____
Shortest Paragraph (in # of sentences) _____3______ ___7_____
Average Paragraph (in # of sentences) _____7______ ___11_____

As you can see from the statistics the difference between me and a professional is very noticeable.  Not only based on the statistics but in the overall style.  This particular article had short succinct sentences that really got the point across efficiently.  I am going to try to do that with my future writings.