After reviewing the comments sited on my first paragraph of my opinion editorial, I have adjusted the approach to the subject of how being grateful for simply being able to attend BYU can be beneficial for students.
As I relate how it is beneficial to be thankful for being able to attend Brigham Young University, I do so by first establishing where it is that I am coming from. I am the second oldest of five in a family of seven. Due to our family’s unique situation, we have been struggling to find our financial stability for about four years. This in turn, has caused our family to go through many ordeals that, as I reflect on them now, I would never wish upon anyone. Be this as it may, it is because of these experiences that I have been able to gain an appreciation for the little things. Being able to attend BYU has never been a little thing for me. This in turn, has provided me with a two part system of beneficial assets that would be helpful to anyone who is attending this great university. This two part system of beneficial assets is as follows; a greater drive of determination and a better out look on life.
As I describe my situation, I did so in order to appeal to ethos. I wanted the reader to understand that I have reason for seeing the need and benefits that come from being grateful. Was this accomplished?
As I recognized from my original OE first paragraph, the lack of logos was apparent. I tried to appeal to logos by listing things that would benefit students through out their college life. Were the reasons I listed enough to persuade students to see a need to be grateful?
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I thought your arguments were more than legitimate, but they are kind of obvious. Maybe try to add a couple of arguments that your readers maybe haven't thought of before. Good job on ethos though.
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