Well, there were some obvious problems with my essay seeing as how it was torn apart on Friday, so I have done some intense revising to the first half of my paper because the original last half actually fits into my new approach and answers criticisms of my first draft. My paper is now sort of a 2-part research study on the economic benefits of sweatshops and how the morality of sweatshops needs to be improved. I have provided sources from both sides of the issue and proposed that a compromise of some sort be reached for the issue.
In class tomorrow I really want to make sure my essay is fluid and as smooth as possible. I am also going to eliminate as many "is" and "are" words as possible. I would love to have this draft read over again because it is very different from my first one, but I'll have to see.
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